There are things that rip my skin open and reveal what lies beneath but I don’t believe in trigger warnings. I don’t believe people can be protected from their histories. I don’t believe it is at all possible to anticipate the histories of others in ways that would be satisfying for anyone.
There is no standard for trigger warnings, no universal guidelines. Once you start, where do you stop? Does the mention of the word rape require a trigger warning or is the threshold an account of a rape? How graphic does an account of abuse need to be before meriting a warning? Are trigger warnings required anytime matters of difference are broached? What is graphic? Who makes these determinations?
It all seems so futile, so impotent and, at times, belittling. When I see trigger warnings, I think, “How dare you presume what I need to be protected from?”
Trigger warnings also, when used in excess, start to feel like censorship. They suggest that there are experiences or perspectives too inappropriate, too explicit, too bare to be voiced publicly. As a writer, I bristle when people say, “This should have had a trigger warning.” I think, “For what?”
I do not understand the unspoken rules of trigger warnings. I cannot write the way I want to write and consider using trigger warnings. After a while, I would second guess myself, temper the intensity of what I have to say. I don’t want to do that. I don’t intend to ever do that.
Writers cannot protect their readers for themselves nor should they be expected to.
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:
|*Man walks into a store and finds employee*|
|Man:||Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!|
|Employee:||Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?|
|Man:||I never filled out an application.|
|Employee:||Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.|
|Man:||No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!|
|Employee:||Well, but that doesn't-|
|Man:||AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!|
|Employee:||But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.|
|Man:||OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!|
|Employee:||Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?|
|Man:||Well no, but what does that matter?|
|Employee:||...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.|
|Man:||Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.|
|Employee:||That...doesn't make any sense.|
|Man:||NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.|
|Man:||Fuck you, slut.|
do you go to a therapist? do you go to therapy? counselors? life coaches? etc? does this help? is this a thing that i should be doing? would you recommend it?
Then after all of that you should over-enthusiastically reply to every okcupid message in your inbox because validation from strangers seems like a safe bet RIGHT
Then make jokes about everything because coping is hard when you’re all out of ideas and ways to deal and when you’re exhausted and burnt out and over feeling like this.